2010-02-03 09:27:05 -

VANESSA REDGRAVE is still struggling to come to terms with her daughter N= ATASHA RICHARDSON's death, almost a year after her untimely passing.
The veteran star pulled out of all her acting commitments, including a = role in Ridley Scott's Robin

Hood, after Richardson died from a brain inj= ury following a skiing accident last March (09).
Redgrave's other daughter, Joely Richardson, urged her mother to put pe= n to paper to express her feelings about Natasha's passing - but the actr= ess is finding it difficult.
She tells Harper's Bazaar magazine, "I used to be a big diary writer, b= ut I haven't written for quite a while. Joely, my second daughter, has be= en urging me to write again, to write to Natasha in my diary.
"Although I knew she was right... to write to my daughter and not be ab= le to hear back, to leave a message for her not to ring me back, it's sti= ll a very, very hard thing." And Redgrave admits the reason she is still struggling with her grief i= s because she finds it "unacceptable" that a mother should ever have to b= ury her daughter.
She adds, "(It) changed my world, because it isn't usual that the mothe= r survived and the daughter dies, except in horrible situations like Gaza= .. I still find it very difficult, of course.
"I found it difficult when my mother died, but I knew she had to. I was= grief-stricken and missed her desperately, because she lived with me for= the last few years of her life. But you accept that - even if you rebel = spiritually because you can't bear your mother to have gone. Nevertheless= , you know this has to happen, with old age.
"But when your daughter dies, it's so unacceptable, particularly when i= t's not expected in any shape or form. Actually it's pretty terrible if i= t is expected."