2008-07-08 09:20:45 -

Written by Adrian Twist -

Watch out Miss America, there's a new pageant in town - And these girls don't care about no stinkin' scholarship or pickin' out no stuffy evening gown, they wanna be the pride and joy of America on the day of our country's birth. Pardon the grammar above, but I couldn't resist putting myself in the

contestants' shoes g-strings and pasties train of thought for a moment.

Judging by most of the girls above, you'd think it was a tabloid tart lookalike contest - Standing from left to right are The Hills girls (Audrina, Heidi, Lauren), Jenna Jameson, Paris "Sasquatch" Hilton (center), JLo/Eva Mendes, Mischa Barton, Sarah Larson (George Clooney's ex-bimbo), & far right is a toss-up between Courtney Love, Chloe Sevigny & Tonya Harding. Kneeling we have Ali Lohan, Avril Lavigne, & Kim Kardashian. As it turns out, they're actually contestants in the Red, White, and Boobs (I kid you not) contest at Hawaiian Tropic Zone's Torrid Nightclub at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Vegas.

To class up the contest and give it some legitimacy, they invited Playboy cover model Tiffany Holliday in all her patriotic glory (above left) - Gotta hand it to her, she sure does look a lot smarter than Pamela Anderson or Carmen Electra. But the true star of the evening was Mervat Berry in her sticker ensemble (pictured right) - She took home the coveted title and will have plenty of stories to tell her grandchildren in 16 years.

Originally published: www.GetDaGoss.com/blogs/?id=4708 (SEE MORE PICS)

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