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REUBENS PLEADED NO CONTEST TO PUBLIC INDECENCY BECAUSE HE COULDN’T FACE PEE-WEE HERMAN creator PAUL REUBENS still maintains he’s innocent of the public indecency charges levelled at him in 1991 - and would have won had the case gone to trial.
The funnyman pleaded no contest to accusations he had been caught mastu rbating in a Florida porn theatre, because he couldn’t bear the thought o f being a public punchline for the duration of a trial - but he insists t he officers who arrested him had their facts all wrong.
In a rare interview about the 19-year-old scandal, Reubens tells Playbo y he had witnesses and experts lined up who would have proved his innocen ce.
He says, "Had we gone to trial, we had ready and expert from the Master s & Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of resear ch on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbat ed with his or her non-dominant hand.
"I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof i t couldn’t have been me.
"(But) did I want to have all that revealed in court and then to listed to Jay (Leno) and Arsenio (Hall) and others for another two weeks? So I pleaded no contest and all I got was community service." The scandal sent Reubens to therapy and he is now an expert on shock re covery: "I was in shock. There was a feeling like, ‘You’re going to wake up from this and it’s going to turn out to be a bad dream…’ As a result , I now know everything there is to know about scandal and shock - how yo u move through the first 12 hours, the first 24 hours, the first six week s… and so on. I know how to navigate all this hideous, s**tty, horrible stuff you go through." Reubens admits his therapy sessions came in handy when he was hit with another scandal in 2001 - the funnyman was wrongly accused of possessing child pornography.

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PARIS HILTON told cops she thought the cocaine allegedly found in her han dbag during a search at the weekend was gum, according to a newly-release d police report.
The Simple Life star was taken into custody in Las Vegas on Friday (27A ug10) after a car she was travelling in was pulled over by cops and searc hed. The officers found a suspicious-looking white powder in her purse.
Hilton was briefly jailed and then released and now faces a hefty fine and four years behind bars.
A police report filed late on Friday suggests the socialite told cops t he purse, in which the drug was found, was not one she owned - and that s he thought the powder was actually gum.
In the official document, obtained by the Associated Press, Las Vegas p olice Lieutenant Dennis Flynn writes, "She told me the purse was not hers , that she had borrowed it from a friend.
"Hilton admitted the (asthma medication) Albuterol (also in the purse).
… was hers and is prescribed to her, but the suspected cocaine was not. I asked Hilton whose cocaine it was, and she said she had not seen it but now thought it was gum." Hilton’s lawyer, David Chesnoff, has refused to comment on the police d ocument.
The heiress will reportedly be officially charged by the Los Angeles Di strict Attorney’s Office on Monday (30Aug10).

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SANDRA BULLOCK is convinced she was destined to adopt a baby boy amid the breakdown of her marriage.
The Oscar winner began the adoption process four years ago, and the sta r and her then-husband Jesse James secretly welcomed baby Louis into thei r family in January (10).
She subsequently split from the TV mechanic in March (10) after his inf idelities were exposed in the media, and Bullock went public with her bab y news a month later (Apr10).
Now a single parent, The Blind Side star is adamant her path to motherh ood has worked out the way it was always intended.
In an exclusive interview with the Today show, which will air in Americ a on Tuesday (31Aug10), she says, "It was a long process. I did not circu mvent. I wanted to do everything exactly the same way everyone else did. He (Louis) was always mine, you know. It wasn’t like I felt like someone was going to take him away. But it was nice to have someone say, ‘I think you’re a fit parent’.
"Everything works out the way the universe wants it to work out. We had always said that it didn’t matter where the child came from. If they had issues that were medical issues, we didn’t care. It’s like the child tha t needed us in the home is the child that’s going to be placed." And the actress is delighted a little boy is finally joining the Bulloc k family.
She adds, "I didn’t think it would be a boy. We don’t have any boys in our family. Boy, is everyone really happy about that. So, he’s like the c rown prince. You know, it’s nothing but girls in our family… It was jus t the hierarchy that needed to be broken."

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A spokesperson for USHER has shot down reports the singer is planning a j oint concert tour with R&B singer CHRIS BROWN, hinting talks have broken down between the pair.
Record producer Bryan Michael Cox - who has created hits for both R&B s uperstars - sparked rumours of a collaboration when he took to video shar ing website YouTube.com, claiming the pair was teaming up for a new trek.
In the video, he reveals, "Usher and the boy Chris Brown are going on t our, y’all know that, right? I might’ve just gave y’all some exclusive s* *t!" Brown appeared to back up the statement - taking to his Twitter.com pag e to ask fans whether they would like the pair to hit the road together. He wrote, "What would you guys say if me and Usher went on tour?" But Usher’s management team has dismissed the claims with a statement t hat reads, "There are no plans for Usher and Brown to tour together." It’s the latest touring letdown for Brown, whose Fan Appreciation Tour faced difficulty and poor ticket sales last year (09) in the wake of his conviction for assaulting ex-girlfriend Rihanna. He was also forced to sc rap his U.K. dates earlier this year (10) after British immigration offic ials refused to to grant him a work visa.
But it’s not all bad for the troubled singer - on Thursday (26Aug10) Ca lifornia Judge Patricia Schnegg praised Brown at a progress hearing as sh e reviewed his efforts to fulfil the terms of his probation, telling the 21 year old "he was doing a great job".

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A spokesperson for MADONNA has confirmed her adopted Malawian daughter wi ll not meet a man who alleges he’s her biological dad - because her exten ded family has "no knowledge of a father".
Last year (09) the pop star won her appeal to adopt abandoned Mercy Jam es, whose 14-year-old mother died days after giving birth.
The adoption faced opposition from Malawian man James Kambewa, who laun ched a legal bid in April, 2009 to regain custody of Mercy, claiming he w as her biological father.
Kambewa gave up his fight two months later, and reports suggested he mi ssed his opportunity to reunite with his four-year-old during the pop sta r’s trip to Mercy’s homeland in April (10), instead moving to South Afric a to make a "better life" for himself.
But a representative for the singer insists there was no planned meetin g between Mercy and Kambewa, who is not acknowledged by the tot’s extende d family in Malawi.
Madonna’s rep Barbara Charone tells South Africa’s the Sunday Times, "T he extended family members had no knowledge of a father. The village lead ership had no knowledge of a father… the mother was raped and left." Mercy is Madonna’s second adopted Malawian child. She is also mum to Da vid Banda, four, and has a 10-year-old son, Rocco, from her marriage to B ritish filmmaker Guy Ritchie, and a 13-year-old daughter Lourdes, from he r relationship with Carlos Leone.

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Rapper CEE LO has hit back at critics of his new expletive-laden song abo ut a money-hungry ex, defending the controversial track as a work of art.
The Crazy hitmaker is under fire for dropping the word "f**k" 16 times in a three-and-a-half-minute track called F**k You, which has become an i nternet sensation ahead of its release on his forthcoming album The Lady Killer.
A spokesperson for America’s Parents Television Council has taken aim a t the star for setting a bad example for impressionable kids, calling the track "the latest example of an entertainment industry bent on racing to the bottom of the barrel".
But the Goodie Mob star has brushed off the criticism, insisting his ly rics have valid artistic merit.
He tells the Associated Press, "What I’ve tried to accomplish, like, is making art products… so I still believe that (the song) can be classif ied as art because it’s an original piece and the edge and alternative is there, and the integrity is intact." In the meantime, the rapper has agreed to release a radio-friendly vers ion of the hit, entitled Forget You, to piggyback on the song’s viral suc cess.
But he admits revamping the lyrics wasn’t his original plan: "It wasn’t like we were looking for it to be a radio hit of some sort. It was only until a short time after that we considered doing a clean version just in case."

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SLAYER frontman TOM ARAYA is still feeling the effects of his recent surg ery - he has a constant lump in his throat.
The bassist went under the knife earlier this year (10) after he was di agnosed with a cervical radiculopathy, a dysfunction of a nerve root of t he spine.
The operation has cured the agonising pains he suffered as a result of the condition - but it’s left him with a feeling of obstruction in his ne ck, and he has to be careful not to lose his composure and start headbang ing onstage.
He tells Metal Hammer magazine, "I went in and came out and I felt fine .. The surgery was actually in my neck, although it’s part of my back. The y went through the front of the neck, moved the oesophagus and all that s tuff out of the way, attached a plate onto the front of the neck bones an d then put everything back. There are six screws in there.
"Afterwards I had a big lump there which disintegrated. I guess my body absorbed everything, although I still feel like I’ve got s**t in my thro at… Dude, you don’t know how bad I want to headbang when I’m onstage. I just can’t, though - not ever. That’s the real bum-out. I’ll be up there playing the songs and I really want to do it, but I can’t… I like play ing the songs, and I can’t do what I want to do!"

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French-Armenian singing icon CHARLES AZNAVOUR is planning a return to the Paris stage where he launched his career half a century ago - and he’s h inting the planned 2011 concert will be his last.
The legendary crooner first performed at the Olympia 55 years ago, and has vowed to make a return to its stage after his 87th birthday next May (11).
In an interview with Europe 1 radio on Monday (30Aug10), he said: "I’m coming back to the Olympia theatre. We’ll close the circle at the Olympia because I’ll be 87, almost 88. At some point I’ll have to stop." Asked whether he would announce his retirement during the concert, he s imply hinted: "perhaps the star will say an ‘au revoir.’" Aznavour previously announced his retirement in 1999 and again in 2000, but he was unable to stay away from the spotlight and continued singing through a farewell tour in 2006, and went on tour again the following yea r (07).
He also told the radio show he plans to interpret nine new songs for th e Olympia show, which will be his first concert in France since 2007. (JM

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Oscar-winning movie-maker DANNY BOYLE struggles to enjoy his successful c areer - because he feels "guilty" making more money than teachers and nur ses earn.
The Slumdog Millionaire director became a revered film-maker following his work on a series of hit movies including A Life Less Ordinary and Tra inspotting.
But he struggles to enjoy the fruits of his labour - because workers in more "important" industries earn far less than his salary.
Boyle tells Britain’s The Times, "I have always felt guilty about my si sters, who became teachers, doing more important jobs than me and getting paid f**k all, comparatively. So the answer to enjoying success is: No. Only in a very private way.
"I always doubt my success, which is a good thing. I see other people e njoying it in a more emphatic way, and I think, fair enough, but I could never naturally do it. I can only pretend to do it. You watch how it’s do ne and think: I can do that. But I never genuinely feel it. Part of me al ways thinks I’m a charlatan. Alongside every other creative person, I’m a lways waiting to be found out."

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Expectant dad NEIL PATRICK HARRIS is buried in books preparing for father hood with his partner DAVID BURTKA.
The actor recently revealed the couple will become parents to twins via surrogate in the autumn (10).
And he admits he’s frantically studying everything he can about parenti ng.
Harris says, "I’m trying to read as much as I can, and prep as much as I can. But there’s only so much you can do because each baby is super ind ividual and totally their own person." Speaking at the Emmys on Sunday night (29Aug10) before scooping an awar d for his guest role in Glee, the star added, "(I’m) very, very excited=E2 =80=A6 It’s the big, crazy calm before the ridiculous storm." (IG/WNWCDS/

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Hollywood superstar NICOLAS CAGE has reportedly signed on to star in a ne w Bollywood gangster movie.
The Oscar winner will headline Broken Horses, directed by Vidhu Vinod C hopra and a remake of Chopra’s 1989 movie Parinda - reports the Hindustan Times.
A source tells the newspaper, "Vidhu is currently in Los Angeles, worki ng on for Broken Horses. Cage has been confirmed for one of the leading r oles just a few days ago." The actor won’t need to pick up any new languages for the role - or eve n travel very far - Chopra recently revealed his latest project will be s hot in the U.S. and in English. He said, "In September, I will start shoo ting Broken Horses in the U.S. It will be an English film and will be for the world audience.
"I have done Hindi films, now I am doing English and after this I may d o a Hindi film again."

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GLENN CLOSE paid tribute to her DAMAGES co-star MARTIN SHORT at the Emmys on Sunday (29Aug10), a week after the death of the funnyman’s wife NANCY ..
Short was due to attend the glittery bash, where he was nominated for h is Supporting Actor role in the hit show, but he pulled out to mourn for his wife of 30 years, who died last weekend (21Aug10) from natural causes , aged just 58.
Speaking to the press after the ceremony, Close praised the couple’s "e xtraordinary" marriage and hailed Short a "magnificent actor".
She told Entertainment Tonight, "He can pull off very, very complex emo tions, and he was magnificent (in Damages).
"I loved watching him work. And the fact that he’s known as this genius comic made it even better.
"Talking to Marty, which we did a lot on the set, they had an extraordi nary marriage. I think 30 years and (it was) a great partnership and frie ndship on top of everything else." The Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Emmy went to Aaron Paul for his role in Breaking Bad.

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ANNA NICOLE SMITH’s ex-lover LARRY BIRKHEAD has opened up about the tragi c model’s battle with prescription drugs, revealing his fears for their u nborn daughter as she appeared impaired during the pregnancy.
The photographer gave a candid interview on U.S. breakfast programme Go od Morning America on Monday (30Aug10), opening up about being a single p arent to three-year-old Danielynn.
He revealed: "Until I got my daughter back, I worried every single day.
But once I got her back and took her to the doctors and took her to all these different specialists to make sure everything is OK, they all assur ed me, ‘Your daughter’s healthy, she’s happy…’ I got lucky." Birkhead also spoke candidly about being a witness in the ongoing trial of Howard K. Stern - Smith’s former boyfriend and lawyer - and two docto rs who are accused of illegally supplying Smith with drugs that led to he r 2007 overdose death.
He previously faced off with Stern in a 2007 paternity case, which prov ed Birkhead to be Danielynn’s father. But now he’s stepped to the defense of his former love rival, calling the charges against Stern "unfair".
He explains: "Howard’s being held, in my opinion, to the same standards as the doctors, almost as if he prescribed the medications." Now, Birkhead says he’s trying to move past the scandal, and focus on r aising a healthy little girl. But the dad admits he’ll struggle to explai n Smith’s tragic legacy to the youngster, and he’s scared she’ll be bulli ed about her mum.
He says, "I do worry that kids in school might say something .. and som e of those things could be cruel at times.
"I just hope that I get the opportunity to explain some of the things b efore she gets to the point to where people come and tell her. There’s so many (things) that I have to worry about telling her. She’s running but I’m still taking baby steps."

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PARIS HILTON will be charged with felony possession of a controlled subst ance following her Friday night (27Aug10) arrest on suspicious of cocaine possession, according to legal documents obtained by TMZ.com.
The socialite and her boyfriend Cy Waits were driving along the Las Veg as strip when their car was pulled over by cops.
Waits was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and Hilt on was booked for alleged felony drug possession after a police officer f ound a suspicious-looking white powder in her purse.
Hilton was checked into the Clark County Detention Center, but was free d in less than three hours.
According to a police report released on Monday (30Aug10) by TMZ.com, .
8 grams of cocaine were allegedly found in Hilton’s bag.
The website claims the hotel heiress will be officially charged by the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office on Monday.
According to Nevada law, Hilton could face up a $5,000 (GBP3,330) fine and up to four years in prison if convicted.

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FUN LOVIN’ CRIMINALS star HUEY MORGAN is set to add actor and author to h is resume - he’s landed a cameo role in British teen drama SKINS and writ ten a series of spy books.
The rocker has already branched out into TV work by appearing on severa l panel shows in the U.K., and he also presents a radio programme on the BBC’s 6 Music station.
Now he is trying out acting - he will play a record shop owner in the p opular British TV series. He’s also written several spy novels, a good-ve rsus-evil screenplay, and a story about a Vietnam war veteran.
Morgan tells Britain’s Seven Days magazine, "I’m going to be on Skins. I’ll play a guy who owns a heavy metal record store. It’s a small cameo r ole. I’ve written a series of espionage novels. There’s also a book that is probably going to be a screenplay. It’s about the Devil going to New Y ork and trying to pick a fight with God.
"There is also another book about this fictitious guy, a Vietnam war ve teran, who comes back to New York City in 1969, gets a job as a bartender , becomes friends with Jimi Hendrix and becomes a musician. A lot of my s tory is in there, I think it will be funny."

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LILY ALLEN is devastated after her favourite sport became mired in a chea ting scandal this weekend (28-29Aug10).
Editors at Britain’s News of the World ran an expose on Sunday (29Aug10 ) accusing two members of the Pakistan international cricket team of rigg ing high-profile Test matches for a betting syndicate.
It is claimed they agreed to "spot-fix" - deliberately bowling "no-ball s" at pre-determined stages of the game - during matches against England.
And Allen, who is a well-known follower of cricket, has taken to her Tw itter.com blog to tell of her outrage over the scandal which is engulfing the sport.
The Smile singer writes, "I am heartbroken. If these allegations are tr ue this is terribly disappointing… It’s the kids I feel sorry for." (ZN

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Rock wildman OZZY OSBOURNE once had a nasty shock on a trip to the U.S. - a passenger sitting next to him on the plane died after suffering a seve re allergic reaction to his in-flight peanuts.
The former Black Sabbath frontman was travelling to the States when a f ellow flier began struggling for breath as he munched on his snack.
The rocker was stunned when he realised the man had died - and he was f aced with explaining the tragedy to shocked flight attendants.
In his column for Britain’s Sunday Times Magazine, Osbourne writes, "I was on a plane once to America and the bloke next to me began making funn y noises while eating his nuts. Next thing, I was sitting next to a corps e.
"The worst thing was having to press the buzzer to call for a flight at tendant, then explain why a bloke who’d been alive a few minutes earlier was suddenly face-down on his tray table. In the end they put a blanket o ver him and moved me to a seat in first class with champagne." (ZN/WNSTIS

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Former GUNS N’ ROSES rocker SLASH has credited his early years in Los Ang eles with inspiring his music career - insisting he felt overwhelmed to h ave been honoured by his adopted hometown at the Sunset Strip Music Festi val last week (beg23Aug10).
The rocker moved from his native Britain to the U.S. when he was 11 yea rs old and settled with his family in L.A.
He was the subject of a tribute as the city’s annual music event when i t kicked off on Thursday (26Aug10), with stars including Motley Crue’s Ni kki Sixx and Motorhead frontman Lemmy joining the salute to Slash.
And the guitarist admits he was deeply moved by the Sunset Strip honour , as he has spent so much of his life in the West Hollywood area.
He says, "Picking up the guitar for the first time in West Hollywood, t hen learning how to play in West Hollywood, starting a band in West Holly wood, and making it in West Hollywood. Getting a record deal at Geffen on Sunset which was the same place my dad used to work at when I was a kid.
So I never left here. Everything in my life that is of any importance st arted in West Hollywood. And the Sunset Strip is like… such a part of m e. So to be honoured by the Sunset Strip is just a major, major thing for me." Previous festival honorees include Lou Adler and Ozzy Osbourne, who mad e his U.S. debut with Black Sabbath at the famous Whisky A Go-Go venue on Sunset Strip.

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