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Funnyman ROBIN WILLIAMS stunned late-night TV viewers in America on Wednesday (26Aug09) by pretending to snort cocaine and masturbate during an appearance on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! The actor/comedian made his entrance on the show by picking up Kimmel’s pen and pretending to hoover a line of coke from the host’s desk up his nose.
A chuckling Kimmel said, "I know they told you to stop doing that." The Mrs. Doubtfire star also shocked as he talked about recent surgery to replace a heart valve, joking he had a baboon heart switch - and then pretending he had side effects as he started pretending to masturbate.
Censors had to pixelate his actions for the airing of the show.
Williams actually had a pig’s valve fitted and quipped, "It’s great because you can find truffles." The funnyman also joked the surgery has put him off eating meat - because every time he starts to eat a burger, the "heart goes ‘You’re one of us now.’" The censors were also button happy as Williams started talking about vaginas, suggesting "Tiny Vagina would be a good stripper’s name".

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Comedian and moviemaker BOBCAT GOLDTHWAITE has revealed best pal ROBIN WILLIAMS is a member of Hollywood’s well-hung club after shooting the Oscar winner waxed and naked in new film WORLD’S GREATEST DAD.
Williams, who is famously hirsute, insisted on stripping for a scene in the film and wowed cast and crew by keeping his clothes off for the day.
Police Academy star Goldthwaite was so impressed with his pal and star’s manhood, he can’t understand why Williams doesn’t bare all in every film.
The director says, "I spent the whole day with Robin… He’s bottomless for the whole day on the set and I was like, ‘Why are you insecure…?’ If I was hung like him I wouldn’t have pants on right now.
"Honestly, if that was me, I’d just be, like, walking around: ‘How do you like me now, b**ches?’" But Williams’ daughter was a little shocked to see her father naked on the big screen at the film’s premiere.
Goldthwaite adds, "She goes, ‘Thanks for the heads up I was going to see my dad’s hog.’" Williams admits he felt he had to wax his torso for the naked scene - because he looked awful when he stripped for a scene in The Fisher King.
He explains, "I shaved because if you don’t, it’s, like, animal-rights issues.
"I did a nude scene in Fisher King; it was Central Park, I was a homeless guy, so I was covered in dirt and really hairy, and it was like, ‘Is that Bigfoot? What happened?’"

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Rapper TOO SHORT has been arrested for a string of driving offences after a run in with cops in Las Vegas.
The star - real name Todd Shaw - was stopped by police officers who spotted him speeding through the city at 4am on Thursday (27Aug09).
After searching his car and carrying out a sobriety test, he was arrested for speeding, driving under the influence (DUI), possession of less than an ounce of marijuana, and exhibition of power.
It’s his second DUI arrest in Las Vegas in less than three months.
According to TMZ.com, 43-year-old Shaw is currently being held behind bars.

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The BLACK EYED PEAS have extended their record-breaking run at the top of the U.S. pop charts by claiming a 21st consecutive week at number one.
The group smashed Usher’s 19-week milestone last week (20Aug09) and are now just five weeks away from claiming the first half-a-year run at the top of the Billboard Hot 100.
I Gotta Feeling replaced summer anthem Boom Boom Pow at number one nine weeks ago, and no other act has been on top of the charts since early April (09).
Miley Cyrus’ Party in the U.S.A, and high climber Down by Jay Sean complete the new top three, while I’m Alive, Kenny Chesney’s collaboration with Dave Matthews, is the new countdown’s highest debut at 90.

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NIRVANA star KURT COBAIN has been revived for a new Guitar Hero videogame.
Bosses at gaming firm Activision have confirmed a Cobain character will be playable in Guitar Hero 5, which hits stores on 1 September (09).
Late stars Jimi Hendrix and Johnny Cash will also appear alongside an animated Shirley Manson and Matt Bellamy of Muse in the new game.
Nirvana tracks Smells Like Teen Spirit and Lithium - recorded at the band’s final British shows in 1992 - will be among the tracks wannabe rockers can play along with.
Cobain’s widow Courtney Love and the tragic rocker’s Nirvana bandmates all had to sign off on the idea before Activision could add the grunge-era singer/songwriter to the game.

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British actress JACQUELINE BISSET has reignited her romance with Turkish martial arts expert EMIN BOZTEPE, four years after they split.
The door appeared to be closed on the couple’s on-off relationship when they went their separate ways in 2005, amid rumours their 18 year age gap was a factor.
But onlookers are convinced the fling is back on after watching Bullitt actress Bisset, 64, and 48-year-old Boztepe enjoy an intimate lunch at Los Angeles’ Villa Blanca on 15 August (09).
A source tells Star magazine, "Jacqueline was very flirty. She called him darling. They talked very closely and only had eyes for each other."

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BATMAN & ROBIN star ALICIA SILVERSTONE can’t wait to become a mum - so she can write children’s books.
The actress admits she has great ideas for kids books, but fears parents won’t put her at the top of bestsellers lists until she’s a mother herself.
The 32-year-old star, who is married to musician Chris Jarecki, insists she had "baby fever" since she was two and the couple is considering starting a family in 2010.
She says, "I think I might be ready maybe next year." And she tells Health magazine that she plans to start writing as soon as motherhood kicks in: "I have a lot to say about kids, but I don’t think anyone wants to hear that when you don’t have them.
"So I want to have kids and go through, ideally, a whole natural childbirth experience."

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GEORGE CLOONEY is laughing off reports he broke his hand in a dangerous motorcycle accident - revealing he mangled his appendage in a car door.
Clooney, 49, was treated earlier this month (Aug09) at the private Ars Medica clinic in Switzerland, a short drive from his Lake Como, Italy, holiday home.
European media reports suggested the actor, 49, was riding his Harley Davidson around Lake Lugano, at the border of Italy and Switzerland, with girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis when fell off, injuring himself.
However, the actor has laughed off the incident as nothing more than a clumsy accident.
His spokesperson tells People.com, "There was an accident and he did break his hand. He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland … He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand.
"The doctor has given him 30-40 years more to live, and no live animals were harmed during the wrapping of the hand." It’s not the actor’s first car-related injury - Clooney and then-girlfriend Sarah Larson were treated for broken bones nearly two years ago when their motorcycle collided with a car in New Jersey.

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BRITNEY SPEARS has called off her romance with her longtime agent JASON TRAWICK, according to a new report.
The Toxic singer is said to have asked Trawick for some time for herself after the couple’s relationship began to turn serious as he accompanied the pop star on her Circus world tour.
Spears was even rumoured to have been engaged to Trawick earlier this month (Aug09) after she was photographed with a sparkling ring on her wedding finger - but the 27 year old has now taken a break from their love affair, reports OKmagazine.com.
One source tells the website, "They are taking some time apart," while another adds, "She told him she needed to get back on her own two feet before moving forward. Jason was disappointed, but he understood." Trawick was spotted entertaining a group of female admirers during a night out in Hollywood last weekend (21Aug09) as Spears prepared to perform three consecutive concerts at New York’s Madison Square Garden.
But the insider suggests it might not be the end for the couple, adding, "Jason’s always loved her, (even) since the Justin Timberlake days, so he won’t let her go easily. He’s giving her space - that’s what she’s asked for."

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ANNE HECHE’s ex husband COLEY LAFFOON is fuming after the actress branded him a "lazy-a**" during a U.S. TV interview.
Laffoon filed for divorce in February 2007 after five years of marriage but the pair’s messy divorce was only finalised last March (09).
The star made it obvious their split has been anything but amicable during an appearance on Late Show with David Letterman on Wednesday (26Aug09), complaining about the $3,700 (GBP2,470) per month child support she gives Laffoon for their seven-year-old son Homer.
In a sarcastic rant Heche explained how Laffoon makes a living: "Can you say ‘lazy a**’ on TV?… He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, ‘Oh! I got a cheque from Anne! Oh! I got a cheque from Anne! Yay!’" Laffoon, a 35-year-old real-estate agent, isn’t amused by his ex’s cutting comments.
He tells Usmagazine.com, "After coming home from showing two different clients two different condominiums, I was disturbed to see Anne taking out her personal frustration on the father of her child on national television." Heche is currently dating her former Men In Trees co-star James Tupper - with whom she recently had her second son, Atlas.

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MISCHA BARTON is planning to kickstart her career by launching an album of her own folk songs.
Friends claim the actress turned to music to help her get through her recent rehab stint, and she now wants to share her own compositions with the world.
A source tells the National Enquirer, "Making music is Mischa’s therapy, and she’s actually quite good. She spends her free time writing and banging out her songs on her acoustic guitar.
"Music has been a lifesaver for her and she’s determined to emerge from her crisis with her own CD and an expanded career." Barton is currently shooting new TV series A Beautiful Life in New York. In July (09), she was placed on psychological hold after reportedly suffering a meltdown at her Hollywood home.

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MICHAEL JACKSON’s iconic record THRILLER has been named the King of Pop’s best album in a new poll of the superstar’s fans.
In a survey timed to coincide with what would have been Jackson’s 51st birthday on Saturday (29Aug09), AOL Radio listeners were asked to select their favourite Jackson disc.
1982’s Thriller came out number one, ahead of Bad, Off the Wall and Dangerous.
And Jackson’s work with his brothers in The Jackson 5 made it onto the list - three of the disco icons’ albums are included in the top ten - which is as follows: 1: Thriller 2: Bad 3: Off the Wall 4: Dangerous 5: Jackson 5 - Third Album 6: HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I 7: The Jackson 5: ABC 8: Invincible 9: The Jackson 5: Maybe Tomorrow 10: Blood on the Dancefloor: HIStory in the Mix
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Funnyman ROBIN WILLIAMS got serious on late-night TV in America on Wednesday (26Aug09) as he revealed how grateful and humble he feels after heart surgery gave him a new lease of life earlier this year (09).
The Mrs. Doubtfire star had to cut short a stand-up comedy tour to replace a heart valve after doctors revealed the breathing problems he was experiencing at shows were deadly serious.
Appearing on the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show, the usually raucous Williams took a moment to tell the host how coming so close to death had made him truly appreciate the small things in life.
He said, "You appreciate everything. Big time. Friends, family, everything; you just kind of look at it (and) the gratitude is instantaneous… It is this thing of realising it is pretty precious, life.
"The surgery alone, it kind of humbles you… You’re back and you just go, ‘Man, I’m so grateful’.
"And the simplest things, like talking to friends and being with family… it really means something when you come back because you realise, ‘Everyone of you means something to me.’ It’s really special."

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The wife of legendary songwriter COLE PORTER is to be immortalised in a new off-Broadway musical.
Jazz singer Stevie Holland will play Linda Porter in Love, Linda, which will debut at New York’s Triad Theater in October (09).
Holland will perform a string of songs Porter wrote for his socialite wife, including Night and Day, In the Still of the Night and So in Love.
The Porters were married for 35 years until Linda’s death from Emphysema in 1954.

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RYAN ADAMS is writing more than songs - the rocker is penning a weekly column for a video gaming website.
The New York, New York hitmaker has signed on to write once a week for TheAwl.com.
His first article was published on Thursday (27Aug09) under the psuedonym D.R. Adams, and tackled the cosmic video game Gorf.

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Rap icon KRS-ONE has launched his own religion, complete with a 600 page ‘bible’ for potential followers.
The new faith is based on rap and the holy text called The Gospel Of Hip Hop: The First Instrument.
The star - real name Lawrence Krishna Parker - tells AllHipHop.com, "It explores the spirituality of hip hop, the divinity of hip hop. I’m suggesting that in 100 years, this book will be a new religion on the earth. Now you talk about controversy, there’s some Christian ministries if you go online, look up some ministers, they dissing right now. ‘Who the hell does he think he is?’ Well, I think I have the authority to approach God directly, I don’t have to go through any religion (or) train of thought. I can approach God directly myself and so I wrote a book called ‘The Gospel Of Hip Hop’ to free from all this nonsense garbage right now. Respect (to) the Christianity, the Islam, the Judaism but their time is up."

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BEYONCE is facing legal action from a former PROJECT RUNWAY contestant who helped design the singer’s costumes for her I AM… tour.
Chris March, the third runner-up in the fourth series of the hit reality TV series, is suing the singer and designer Thierry Mugler, the tour’s creative adviser, after they allegedly failed to pay him for the extravagant stage outfits he helped make as head of costumes for the global trek, reports CocoPerez.com.
March is seeking the $43,500 (£29,000) he claims he was promised.

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FALL OUT BOY frontman PATRICK STUMP has spoken out following his arrest for a traffic violation, and the shy frontman insists he’s ‘learned his lesson’.
The lead singer was taken into custody on Tuesday night (25Aug09) in Beverly Hills, California for an outstanding traffic warrant.
Stump was held on a $15,000 (GBP9,375) bond and released from jail after four hours.
Speaking for the first time since his brush with the law, Stump vows to leave the headline-grabbing antics to his other bandmates Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley.
He says, "All I really have to say is ignorance of the law isn’t innocence. I didn’t want to give up my Illinois driver’s license and was unaware that was a crime. It is, by the way, in the state of California. Lesson learned. I technically broke a law, so technically I deserve whatever I get. But man, is my mum gonna be pissed." Stump faces a maximum of six months in jail and a $1,000 (GBP670) fine if convicted.

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