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Singer JOHN MAYER has a word of advice for "snarky" online gossips - follow the lead of comedic icon DON RICKLES and write "with a wink and a smile".
The singer - who often finds himself on the end of jibes made on gossip sites - watched legendary comedian Don Rickles perform at an event last month (15Nov08), and was struck by how well audience members took his stings.
Mayer writes on his official website, "Snarky gossip bloggers, take heed. You will never have a better knack for cutting people down than Don Rickles does.
You owe much of your success - both pecuniary and otherwise - to the groundwork laid by (Rickles).
"He made Perez Hilton look like a sycophant. Nobody - and I mean nobody - has what it takes to point out a morbidly obese man in the front row and call him out on it in song.
"If you’re going to make someone laugh at the absurd, tell some truth with it; if you’re going to make someone cry, give them a silver lining to look to; and if you’re going to insult someone, as the legendary Don Rickles has for the last 55 years, always end it with a wink and a smile.
"Mark my words: The gossip-monger whose style closest resembles that of Don Rickles’ mastery of tension and release will stay successful the longest."

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A man who confessed to offering to supply cocaine to AMY WINEHOUSE has been jailed for two years.
Johnny Blagrove, who took video footage of the troubled singer appearing to smoke crack cocaine and sold it to Britain’s The Sun newspaper at the beginning of the year (08), was sentenced in London on Friday (12Dec08).
His girlfriend, Cara Burton, was handed two years’ community service.
Prosecutors told the court in Snaresbrook, East London the pair covertly filmed Winehouse at a party and sold the footage.
Police found a list of celebrities the couple planned to film taking drugs when they raided the house where they live.

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TOM CRUISE is considering reprising his foul-mouthed, Golden Globe-nominated TROPIC THUNDER character, LES GROSSMAN, for a series of hilarious online videos.
The movie star wowed filmgoers with his obscene Hollywood executive and now he and Ben Stiller are working on new material.
Cruise, who received a Best Supporting Actor Golden Globe nod on Thursday (11Dec08) for his Grossman portrayal, tells Eonline.com, "I’ve talked about doing different videos with the character. I’ve started working with Ben on it, and we’ve kind of talked about different things to do. We were gonna do some in our free time, but we haven’t found the free time yet.
"He’s a fun character. I gotta talk to Ben, but there could be more to do with that guy."

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Former AMERICAN IDOL producer NIGEL LYTHGOE has hit back at PAULA ABDUL after she accused her bosses on the show of deliberately exposing her to the crazed fan who committed suicide outside her California home.
During an interview with Barbara Walters on Monday (08Dec08), the reality show judge claimed producers on the programme allowed Paula Goodspeed to audition on three separate occasions, knowing she had stalked the star for 17 years.
Abdul also accused broadcaster Fox of shooting footage at her home, which effectively showed fans how to get access to the Sherman Oaks estate.
But Lythgoe denies the singer’s pleas were ignored in an effort to boost ratings.
He tells Usmagazine.com, "I don’t remember Paula Abdul ever saying, ‘Don’t bring this one or that one in.’ But she says she did - I believe her.
"My point is, this young woman went through the audition process. None of us believed she posed any danger to Paula. Believe me, if we had, she wouldn’t have been in the room.
"We had someone who was a very huge fan of Paula’s, and (who) we thought Simon (Cowell) would have great fun with. That’s all.
"This horrible thing happened outside her home. It’s like she’s saying, ‘Don’t blame me. It’s not my fault.’ And she’s right. It’s not anybody’s fault.
It’s certainly not American Idol’s fault.
"I don’t know what goes through someone’s head when they choose to commit suicide, but I believe this poor girl was going through a very sad period in her life. Now it should be left for the family to grieve."

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Australian actor HUGH JACKMAN has been named host of 2009’s 81st Annual Academy Awards.
The 40-year-old star - named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive last month (Nov08) - was given the honour by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences on Friday (12Dec08).
Jackman, who has never been an Oscar nominee, won a prize at the 2005 Emmys for hosting the Tony Awards the same year (05).
The X-Men star follows in the footsteps of a line of A-list comedians who’ve hosted the show, including: Jon Stewart in 2008 and 2006, Ellen DeGeneres in 2007, Chris Rock, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg.
The Oscar awards ceremony takes place on 22 February (09) in Los Angeles.

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French first lady CARLA BRUNI is taking legal action to stop a clothing company distributing bags featuring a naked picture of her.
The former model - who dated Sir Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton before marrying French President Nicolas Sarkozy - claims she owns the exclusive rights to the candid snap, which is being reproduced by retailer Pardon.
Bruni is seeking $163,500 (£112,000) in damages from the company, located on the French Indian Ocean island of La Reunion, for allegedly printing her naked image on bags which are being handed out to clients. The shot was taken in 1993 during the height of the star’s modelling career.
A La Reunion court will hear the case on Monday (15Dec08).
In April (08), a 1993 nude photo of Bruni was sold at a U.S. auction for $91,000 (£62,328) - more than 60 times the expected price.

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The daughters of a Hollywood private detective convicted of federal wiretapping have landed their own reality TV show.
The three daughters of Anthony Pellicano - who was convicted in August (08) will be followed in forthcoming U.S. series The Pellicano Girls, as they try to fund their extravagant lifestyles and attempt to run his private investigation company while he is in jail.
Alana, 21, Tori, 18, and Josi, 17 will star in the series alongside their mother, Pellicano’s wife, Kat, according to the New York Post.
Pellicano and entertainment lawyer Terry Christensen were accused of secretly recording phone conversations of billionaire investor Kirk Kerkorian’s ex-wife, Lisa Bonder Kerkorian, in an effort to disprove her claims that the businessman was the father of her daughter.
Pellicano was convicted of federal racketeering and other charges in May (08).
Comedian Chris Rock and top Hollywood agent Michael Ovitz admitted to hiring the private detective but insisted they had no idea about his illegal practices, testifying at his trial, which began in February (08).
Pellicano is scheduled for sentencing on Monday (15Dec08) and faces up to 10 years behind bars.

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GWYNETH PALTROW and CHRIS MARTIN’s marriage is safe and strong, according to the Oscar winner’s close pal, chef MARIO BATALI.
Paltrow has been spotted partying in the U.S. with pal Madonna, while Martin tours the U.K. with his band Coldplay, prompting rumours their five year marriage is in trouble.
Reports this week even suggested the couple planned to spend Christmas together in London in a bid to save their relationship.
But Batali, who shot a TV cookery show with the actress in Spain this summer (08), insists there’s no truth to the rumours.
He tells OK! magazine, "Not true. I see them all the time. I don’t think they’re having problems." Batali adds the pair’s kids Apple and Moses help to keep their marriage strong.
He says, "If you meet their kids, their kids are cool. And their kids have the fascination with new and open-eyed experiences. They’re delightful. Which means they’re being taken care of at home by their parents. That’s the key.
They’re really stay-at-home parents in a way that only rock stars and Academy Award winning actors can be. They’ve got a time to choose when they work, and they don’t have to work all the time."

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Fashion mogul TOMMY HILFIGER will marry for the second time on Friday (12Dec08) in an ultra-private wedding ceremony.
Hilfiger, 57, and his former girlfriend of three years, former model Dee Ocleppo, will say their vows before a justice of the peace - the only other person attending the ceremony - in Greenwich, Connecticut, reports the New York Post.
The designer - who proposed in February (08) - tells the newspaper, "We wanted to do it before Christmas." The couple had planned to wed in August (08), but postponed the nuptials.
Hilfiger told the publication at the time, that the couple is currently working out living arrangements for Ocleppo’s two children: "A wedding does become a bit complicated." Ocleppo now adds, "My kids are happy." Hilfiger also has four children from a previous relationship with Susie Hilfiger; their marriage ended in 2005.
Ocleppo has never married.
The pair will honeymoon on the private West Indies island of Mustique and celebrate with friends at a party they’re planning on New Year’s Eve (31Dec08).

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SOPRANOS actor LILLO BRANCATO JR. was a regular visitor to the house he is accused of breaking into the night he was shot during a stand-off with an off-duty policeman - according to a defence witness at his murder trial.
Officer Daniel Enchautegui was shot dead by Brancato’s friend Steven Armento when he disturbed the pair allegedly breaking into his neighbour’s Bronx, New York home on 10 December 2005.
Armento was convicted at an earlier trial and sentenced to life imprisonment.
Brancato - who was shot and wounded by Enchautegui - is attempting to escape a guilty verdict by challenging police claims he was committing a burglary at the time of the shooting.
Under New York State law, Brancato cannot be convicted of murder unless they are sure he was robbing the house.
Earlier in the trial the 32-year-old’s defence disputed an alleged burglary confession made at his hospital bed in the aftermath of the shooting, and on Thursday (11Dec08) a longtime friend of the actor testified that she and Brancato had regularly visited the house, and had been given free reign of the property by its owner Kenny Scavotti.
Jenny Farley told the court, "We’d go through the garage or through the front door." Other witnesses told police they heard someone shout Scavotti’s name after the shooting took place.
The defence claims this is proof Brancato believed his friend was at the house and was calling for help.
The prosecution questioned the friendship, pointing out that Brancato didn’t know Vietnam veteran Scavotti had been dead for four months. The trial continues.

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AXL ROSE has denied he changed former QUEEN star BRIAN MAY’s contribution to the new GUNS N’ ROSES album out of "spite" - insisting it sounded good at the time.
In 1999 the legendary musician recorded a guitar solo for new track Catcher N’ The Rye, which features on the band’s long-awaited new LP, Chinese Democracy.
May’s efforts were subsequently edited beyond recognition, with the star insisting "it was a shame" to see his work go to waste.
Frontman Rose admits the end result - a combination of different edits in the studio with producer Sean Beavan - was a shock to May when he heard the playback.
He writes on the band’s official website, "There’s a few reasons (why May’s part was edited), and none of them all that big and definitely not in spite or to slight anyone.
"Brian’s solo itself is a personal fave of mine and I really couldn’t understand, as he’s such a rock legend, why it wasn’t openly appreciated more at the time. (It) had a lot to do with Sean (Beavan) and I and the parts I chose out of Brian’s different runs, versions, practice runs. And though Brian seems to have warmed a bit to it, at least publicly, he was unfortunately none too pleased at the time with our handiwork. I remember looking at Brian standing to my left and him staring at the big studio speakers a bit aghast saying, ‘But that’s not what I played’.
"Sean Beavan and I were not in any way trying to mess with Brian, we just did what we do and then try and do our best to stand up for our decisions." (LR/WNWCBBM/ZN) WENN - FIFTH - HOLLYWOOD, SHOWBIZ & PEOPLE NEWS - 12 DECEMBER 2008

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Welsh rockers BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE have cancelled the last two dates of their European tour due to illness.
The band scrapped a planned gig in Denmark on Thursday (11Dec08) night and subsequently cancelled a concert in Luxembourg on Saturday (13Dec08).
The group’s representatives have released a statement apologising to fans and admitting the tour, which kicked off earlier this year (08), has left the band exhausted.
It read: "They have been touring virtually non-stop since February 2008, and after the show in Tampere (Finland) on Tuesday (09Dec08) night, the band started to develop flu and cold symptoms which had been circulating among the road crew. The band’s agent is currently working on rescheduling the two shows at a later date.
"However, the band would first and foremost like to apologise to all the fans who have bought tickets to the concerts. They will be flying back home to the U.K. today to be with their families to get some well-earned rest so that they can come back stronger and harder in 2009."

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Rapper/actor MOS DEF has been landed with a $60,000 (£40,000) lawsuit from his own attorney, after failing to pay for an expensive divorce from his ex-wife.
Bosses at legal firm Blank Rome claim the star - real name Dante Smith - owes them the sum in unpaid fees and retainers, after they helped untangle him from his marriage to Maria Yepes in 2006.
A representative for the star failed to respond to requests for comment.
It’s not the only legal mess Mos Def is in right now - he is facing charges of felony robbery and malicious destruction of private property after fashion photographer Volker Corell claimed the rap star ripped a camera from his neck, smashed it to the ground and then took off with it during a confrontation in Las Vegas in August (08).

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Veteran singer PAUL ANKA’s wife has been arrested for felony domestic battery four months after the couple wed.
Authorities were called to the singer’s home in the Los Angeles suburb of Thousand Oaks on 28 November (08) following a heated argument between Anka and his wife Anna Yeager.
According to TMZ.com, Anka needed medical attention after Yeager, 37, threw a piece of ice at her husband’s head.
Anka, 67, received two staples to close the wound, returned home and called police the next morning to report his wife missing.
Upon her return, police made the arrest and booked her for felony domestic battery.
Anka, who did not press charges, tells the website, "It was a stupid little event. It was nothing," adding his wife has "been having a tough time with her ex over custody issues." The Ventura County District Attorney’s office has reportedly rejected the case.
The couple, which met when Swedish-born Yeager became Anka’s personal trainer, has been together for four years.
They have a three-year-old son, Ethan.

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Rocker JOHN MAYER is adamant he doesn’t have a problem with his girlfriend JENNIFER ANISTON stripping nude for the cover of a magazine.
The former Friends star recently posed naked except for a striped necktie covering her breasts in a photoshoot for American publication GQ.
And her partner insists he is not offended by the candid snaps - and is happy for Aniston to shed her clothes in front of the camera.
He tells Us Weekly, "I mean, if I have a problem with that cover, I should just get the hell out of here. If I have a problem with that cover, I should just pack up the Toyota and head out of town. I’m just gonna get ready to put my knuckles in the air for it."

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Hollywood actor KEANU REEVES is jealous of HUGH JACKMAN - because the Australian star landed Reeves’ dream role in the X-MEN franchise.
Reeves is a longtime comicbook fan and would have loved to play the role of Wolverine - the part which was handed to Jackman - in the movie series.
He says, " I had a little actor envy when Hugh Jackman got to play Wolverine and I didn’t. The claws are cool and I liked his fortitude and honour."

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ERIC DANE has offered his GREY’S ANATOMY co-star KATE WALSH a shoulder to cry on following the breakdown of her marriage.
The actor is yet to speak to Walsh since she announced her divorce from movie executive Alex Young, citing irreconcilable differences.
But he promised to get in touch and console her as soon as he can - after prompting from a journalist.
Dane told reporters, "That’s terrible. No, I haven’t seen her. I’ve got to call her. Thanks for reminding me that I need to call her and say, ‘That’s terrible’." A representative for Walsh has since confirmed the couple’s split, which came just 15 months after they said their vows: "Papers have been filed to amicably end the marriage of executive Alex Young, and actress Kate Walsh. The couple remain on friendly terms and sincerely hope the media will respect their privacy during this difficult time."

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KEANU REEVES has branded life as a famous actor "a drag" - insisting he doesn’t understand why the paparazzi are interested in taking snaps of his every move.
The Matrix star is frequently followed by photographers who are eager to get pictures of him to sell, and the actor admits he tires of the endless pursuit especially when they target him as he performs mundane chores.
But despite hating the downsides of fame, Reeves admits the huge pay cheques he garners from his Hollywood career have helped make his life bearable.
He says, "Fame is a drag. The paparazzi culture is more pervasive that it used to be - ‘let’s watch the actor pump gas’.
"On the positive side, it’s nice not to have to worry about bills. Money buys you the freedom to live your life the way you want. I’ve been able to earn a really good living and start a charity foundation, which is nice." Reeves was cleared of injuring a paparazzo, Alison Silva, in November (08) after the snapper sued the star, claiming the actor knocked him to the ground with his Porsche, leaving him with debilitating injuries.

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