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A Chinese woman cheated death when she fell from a sixth floor balcony - and landed on a pile of poo.
The woman was hanging out her laundry when she toppled over the balcony ledge but escaped serious injury when her fall was broken by a soft pool of poo - all thanks to workers who happened to be emptying a septic tank.
A witness said: "She landed in a 20cm thick heap of excrement.
"Workers happened to be emptying the building’s septic tank, which had not been tended for a long time, and had regularly blocked sewage pipes."

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A German lorry driver set fire to his cab after trying to cook sausages while driving.
Walter Reckling, 46, usually pulled over and got out before lighting his small gas cooker. But to save time when he was running late with a delivery, the hungry driver decided to attempt a spot of cook-driving and set fire to his seat before flames engulfed the cab.
Walter was treated in hospital for smoke inhalation and was found to be three times over the legal drink-driving limit.

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A German couple who wanted to have car sex were arrested when they climbed into the wrong vehicle.
Bernhard Stadlinger, 24, had intended to climb into his sister’s VW Golf to satisfy his lust after getting lucky at a disco in Bavaria - but a car of the same model had been parked next to it.
When Bernhard’s key worked, he had no reason to suspect he was getting into the wrong car.
The car’s owner, Petra Eichinger, 42, noticed the naughty antics and called police.

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A US schoolboy was jailed for 12 days after being wrongly accused of making a hoax bomb threat - because his school had forgotten the clocks had changed.
Hempfield Area High School received a hoax bomb threat by telephone on their student hotline and, after investigations, discovered a call had been made at that time by student Cody Webb, 15.
However, the school forgot the clocks had gone forward that morning, and Cody had actually made his call an hour earlier.
Despite protesting his innocence Cody - who has never even had a detention - spent nearly two weeks in a detention centre before the school realised their mistake. All charges against him have now been dropped.

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A Myanmar serial car thief has claimed he was just doing it for the fuel.
Maung Myo Win wreaked havoc across the region stealing 11 vehicles in a six month period. But when police caught the canny criminal red handed trying to climb into a minivan, he confessed he only wanted to drain the tanks of fuel before dumping the cars somewhere else.
A policeman said: "As far as I know, he just stole the petrol." Fuel is strictly rationed in the military-led former Burma.

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A German children’s author and illustrator are set to battle each other in court over whether their book’s character should get married.
Ellis Kaut - who created one of the country’s most popular cartoon characters Pumuckl the imp - is angry that his illustrator Barbara von Johnson has pledged her support to a TV show contest to design Pumuckl a girlfriend.
The winner will take part in a ceremony to see the imp ‘marry’ his new love.
While Barbara thinks it’s about time he was allowed some romance, Ellis thinks the idea would ruin his child-like spirit.
He said: "Pumuckl is a pure child of fantasy, a spiritual being, and he must remain that way.
"Imps take part in good or bad frolicking, but frolicking without sexuality."

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A British man has married the woman of his dreams - after her telephone number came to him in a dream.
David Brown, 24, woke up one morning having dreamt of an unfamiliar telephone number and was so intrigued he sent a text message to it - only to be led to his future wife.
Michelle Kitson, 22, said she was confused and wary at first, but decided to reply and a romance ensued - despite her parents’ warning that he could be an "axe-murderer".
David said: "I’ve no idea how I ended up with her number in my head, it’s only a few digits different from mine."

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A cockatoo in a British wildlife centre has been trying to hatch a bowl of chocolate Easter eggs.
The bird’s owner put the bowl of chocolate treats out for visitors to the Warwickshire centre - but confused bird Pippa thinks they are hers and has been sitting on them ever since.
Centre owner Geoff Grewcock said: "She’s so protective over them, and if anyone goes near them she’ll attack." Geoff is trying to remove the eggs one by one, before they melt.
The 17-year-old bird has started pecking at them because she is expecting them to hatch any time soon.

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US border police discovered 1,000 stolen wedding dresses in the back of a trailer which had been denied entry into Mexico.
The frocks - which had been donated to raise money for the Making Memories Breast Cancer Foundation - had been on the way to a Los Angeles fundraising event when they were snatched in Arizona a few months ago.
After discovering the gowns - worth a total of around $3 million - police arrested the driver.
Foundation director Fran Hansen said: "When the call came in, I felt blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I’d been praying for that moment for months." The dresses will now be sold so the proceeds can go to cancer sufferers.

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A Saudi man lost a bit of his nose when he was attacked by his two wives - for threatening to marry a third.
Judaie Ibn Salem needed seven stitches after his two wives were enraged by his suggestion to extend the family.
He said: "I swore that I would do it because they were impolite and that’s when I came under an even bigger attack.
"I never realised they would get so worked up. But the only way to restore my dignity is really to take a third wife. I don’t know what I’m going to lose next if I do that." Islamic law allows Saudi men to take up to four wives.

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A British hamster has been brought back to life with Ribena after it was accidentally cooked.
The Bell family’s pet, Christmas, caught fire after his cage was left on top of an oven and the hob was turned on by accident - causing the cage to burst into flames.
When firefighters arrived on the scene Christmas was lying on his back with his charred legs in the air and tongue hanging out.
Officer Mark Spinks, 36, said: "We all looked at each other and said, ‘That hamster is a goner’." But when colleagues gave Christmas a blast of oxygen, a few drops of Ribena and rubbed his stomach, he coughed and came back to life." Stacy Bell, 24, had moved Christmas’ cage into the kitchen because he was keeping son Dylan, four, awake.

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A Canadian woman has finally been arrested after stealing over $5,000 worth of chewing gum during a month-long crime spree.
Carole Bradbury from Toronto had been stealing whole cartons of gum from grocery stores.
The 50-year-old would put the boxes in her trolley and then conceal them with flyers from the shop before leaving without paying.
She struck at stores in York, Durham and other towns in Southern Ontario and was repeatedly caught on CCTV.
Bradbury finally handed herself in to police after they began a hunt for the "Chewing Gum Bandit" and was charged with theft.

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A Chinese company is renting out partners for single parents who want their children to experience family life.
The Dalian city company has distributed leaflets advertising "a temp father or mother is the cure for a lonely single-parent child".
All parents available for hire are said to be carefully selected and well-educated.
Owner Li Chuangyong said: "They are from specialised home-care companies, and have a lot of experience dealing with kids." Li claims there has already been a lot of interest in his service.
However, the local Bureau of Industry and Trade says the company requires a special licence to continue operating.

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An Australian train driver said a hot sausage roll was to blame for a 14-minute delay.
The driver said he was temporarily blinded when he bit into the piping hot lunch - so he decided to clock off early.
The incident was featured in a list of excuses given by CityRail train drivers for leaving work early during 2005 and 2007.
Investigators also discovered that twelve members of staff had injured themselves while stepping onto non-existing platforms.
Other cases included a man who punched himself on the nose while trying to open a window and a driver who stopped mid-journey because he had an eyelash in his eye.
However, one female driver managed to carry on working despite being bitten by a spider behind the ear.

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A US burglar was caught after his prosthetic leg fell off while he was making his getaway.
Gregory Daniels and an accomplice were seen using a pick-up truck to unbolt and steal an ATM machine at a California market.
Police were called and gave chase, so the accomplice jumped out of the truck and made a run for it.
But when 48-year-old Daniels tried to do the same his artificial fell off.
A police spokesman said: "Daniels was on the ground near the vehicle in an attempt to flee from officers.
‘He was unsuccessful, as his prosthetic leg fell off." The ATM machine was recovered, and Daniels charged with burglary.
Police are still hunting the second man.

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A Russian woman trampled her friend to death in an attempt to exorcise evil spirits from her.
Ludmilla Topalov, 32, of Archangelsk, believed 46-year-old Irina Sytchev was possessed by the devil and so repeatedly stamped on her chest in an attempt to drive it out.
But the DIY exorcism was unsuccessful and Sytchev died as a result of the injuries she suffered.
Topalov told police: "She told me she was possessed and asked me to beat her to drive out the devil.
"It was the devil that killed her in revenge."

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A crocodile in Taiwan bit off a zookeeper’s arm and refused to let go.
A male crocodile at Kaohsiung’s Shaoshan Zoo severed Chang Po-yu’s forearm and did not release its bite until it had been stunned by another keeper.
Vet Chang was trying to retrieve a tranquiliser dart from the reptile’s hide so he could give it medication. But the animal was not fully sedated when Chang stuck his arm through the railings of its cage and it tore off his arm.
As the croc would not spit out the limb another zoo worker fired at the animal’s neck to stun it.
The arm fell from its mouth and bounced on the ground before being sealed in a bag and rushed to hospital after Chang.
Doctors managed to reattach the arm after seven hours of surgery.
The animal was unharmed.

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A British cat has been commuting on a busy bus route in Wolverhampton for the last three months.
The cat - nicknamed Macavity by drivers - jumps aboard the No 331 bus and travels two stops before alighting near a fish and chip shop down the road.
Driver Bill Khunkhun, 49, said: "As soon as I open the doors he jumps on. He seems to like it." The moggie began commuting in January and has caught the bus three times a week ever since, always getting off at the same stop.
Passenger Paul Brennan, 19, said: "The cat sat at the front, waited patiently for the right stop and got off.
"It was quite strange at first but now seems normal. He is the perfect passenger. The only problem is he never pays."

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