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BILLY JOEL’s past is coming back to haunt him in a revealing new book.
Claims the PIANO MAN once attempted suicide by swallowing furniture polish and had his wallet stolen by a woman performing fellatio on him under his piano feature in biographer MARK BEGO’s new tome.
Bego also alleges Joel’s second marriage to his UPTOWN GIRL muse, model CHRISTIE BRINKLEY, fell apart because the rocker couldn’t resist flings with his groupies.
But it’s the suicide revelation that will shock many fans.
Bego tells US tabloid the National Enquirer Joel was so distraught after his first album release with rock band ATILLA flopped, he tried to take his life.
The author says, "Billy was so distraught he tried to commit suicide by swallowing furniture polish.
"Later on, he joked that he ended up ‘farting Lemon Pledge for a week.’"

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Singer/songwriter TOM WAITS has settled his lawsuit against a German carmaker and plans to donate his legal windfall to charity.
The DOWNTOWN TRAIN singer sued Adam Opel AG and the firm’s advertising agency McCann Erickson Deutschland for using a soundalike in a series of European TV commercials.
The two companies agreed to pay up but full details of the settlement have not been disclosed. Waits was initially seeking an injunction and at least $300,000 (£154,000) in damages.
He claimed the two companies had hired an impersonator to replicate his distinctive singing style for the ads, and sued for breach of private rights and copyright infringement.
In the statement released earlier today (25JAN07), Waits wrote, "I’m glad to be out of the car sales business once and for all." It isn’t the first time Waits has sued to protect his image, sound and copyright - he won similar cases against Spanish company Tandem Campmany Guasch in 2004 and US food company Frito-Lay in 1992, after bosses used his vocal style in an ad campaign to promote crisps.

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GIRLS GONE WILD creator JOE FRANCIS desperately tried to buy back intimate video footage he shot with hotel heiress PARIS HILTON that is now being shown on the internet.
Hilton is considering taking legal action against the new website, ParisExposed.com, which features video footage and photographs she left in a Los Angeles-based storage locker.
Francis, who was dating the STARS ARE BLIND singer when they shot private videos, tried to get the items back, but refused to pay the millions of dollars the broker was asking for.
He tells E! News, "I was actually trying to negotiate to get my tapes back, but we were unsuccessful. They had asked me for $7 million bucks (£3.6 million).
"At Girls Gone Wild there’s a reason why we get consent from people. Because we can’t disseminate their image without their permission.
"I shot the tapes and there are pictures of me and somebody else disseminated it without my permission.
"This was meant to be a (private) video that I made with my girlfriend at the time, who was Paris Hilton."

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LATEST: MICHAEL JACKSON’s former attorney is seeking at least $2 million (£1 million) in damages for being secretly videotaped aboard a private jet with the pop star.
Lawyer MARK GERAGOS, who was taped with Jackson on a November 2003 flight from Las Vegas to Santa Barbara, California, is suing now-defunct jet company XtraJet.
At the time, Jackson was flying to Santa Barbara to surrender on child molestation charges. He was acquitted in 2005.
Geragos’ attorney appeared in court yesterday (24JAN07) claiming the $2 million in compensatory damages was fair given that XtraJet’s owners offered to sell the tape for up to that amount.
His lawyer, BRIAN J KABATECK, also urged the judge to assess $18 million (£9.2 million) in punitive damages.
Attorney LLOYD KIRSCHBAUM, who represents former XtraJet owner JEFFREY BORER, claims the attorney-client relationship was never breached because there wasn’t proof of an audio recording.
He said, "From the very first day of this case they have known there was no sound involved." The judge declined to issue a ruling and took the case under submission.

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The makers of a new Bollywood movie are hoping the film’s general release in India will help solve the real-life mystery of a missing boy.
PARZANIA is based on the true story of the disappearance of 13-year-old AZHAR MODY during violent riots in Gujarat, western India in 2002. Anzhar’s parents have continued to avidly search for their son over the last five years, but have never found the youngster.
But director RAHUL DHOLAKIA is keen to rectify the situation when Parzania opens in Indian cinemas - a picture of Anzhar is displayed at the end of the film in a bid to jog viewers’ memories.
He says, "One of the most important aims of the film is to help DARA and RUPA MODY find their son Azhar." Rupa, the child’s mother, explains, "I was holding my daughter BINAIFER’s fingers and she was holding Azhar’s arm. We were surrounded by fire in the kitchen and could not see anything. I rushed out with the kids and saw a mob.
When I turned to pick up Azhar he was not there." Dara, his father, says, "My heart doesn’t believe that my son is not there with us. Watching the movie based on the tragedy of my own life does not disturb me, it has rather encouraged me to continue the hunt for my son." The violent riots erupted when 59 Hindus died in a fire, widely thought to have been started by Muslim groups.

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PIERCE BROSNAN’s nude scene in new movie SERAPHIM FALLS was cut because "it was too much of a distraction".
The 53-year-old actor had no problem baring all for the cameras, but the scene didn’t make the movie’s final cut because directors feared his toned physique would detract from the plot.
He explains, "There was one scene that they shot where I was completely naked, but we cut that out. It was too much of a distraction.
"They had the fur coat around me and they took it away and it was just him huddled by the fire in this kind of Rodin-esque frame. It didn’t really work in the film." Brosnan’s bare body recently caused a stir when he paraded in skimpy underpants around a swimming pool for THE MATADOR.

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Veteran British actor PETER O’TOOLE isn’t prepared to enter retirement just yet because he still has the mind of "a 21-year-old".
The LAWRENCE OF ARABIA star, 74, recently showed old age is no obstacle to career success when he garnered his eighth Academy Award nomination this week (begs22JAN07) for his role in VENUS.
Although admitting his advancing years has forced him to cut back on some hobbies, O’Toole is adamant being a pensioner is no reason to slow down completely.
He says, "I quite like being old
. I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it: Yes, I’m 74 years old, but in here (his head) quite a lot of the time and in many instances, I’m
21. Nothing has changed, nothing has changed.
"And then I realise it’s not too wise to climb that tree
. And I can’t play my beloved cricket anymore
. I’m getting more and more used to my limitations, and enjoying them."

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Twentieth Century Fox has issued a legal summons to video website YouTube, after one of its users illegally uploaded entire episodes of hit TV show 24 before they were premiered on US networks.
JANE SUNDERLAND, vice president of Fox entertainment group, believes the offending material - which includes 12 episodes of THE SIMPSONS -could cause the company "irreparable harm".
She admits Fox is unable to determine the users’ identities without the help of YouTube and LiveDigital, a smaller video content site, and a subpoena against the two companies was filed last week (18JAN07).
The 24 episodes appeared on YouTube prior to their primetime 14 January (07) premiere on the Fox broadcast network. Fox became aware the episodes were on YouTube six days earlier (08JAN07), according to the subpoena.
YouTube and other similar video-sharing sites normally inform content providers they will delete copywritten material when alerted by the relevant

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PINK FLOYD rocker ROGER WATERS is tired of behaving like a "snotty kid" and trying to look on the bright side of life.
The 63-year-old concedes getting older has helped change his negative take on life and he’s more inclined to "act nicely" towards other people.
He says, "I’m not misanthropic at all. I see glimmers of hope.
"I have to say, though, as I have grown older and dealt with one or two of my specific personal psychological, philosophical problems, I found it easier myself to be nicer to people than I used to be when I was a snotty kid, a snotty young man. Which is good."

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LATEST: SNOW PATROL drummer JONNY QUINN will rejoin the CHASING CARS band for their Australian tour next month (FEB07).
Quinn was forced to take a break from touring after breaking his arm while snowboarding in the French Alps earlier this month (JAN07), and has been temporarily replaced by longtime friend of the band GRAHAM HOPKINS.
However, he has vowed to return for the Australian leg of the band’s world tour, which begins in Perth on 17 February (07).
He writes on the band’s official website, "I thought it was time that someone from Snow Patrol learnt to snowboard, so I took myself off to Chamonix. However on the first day I tumbled down a hill and broke my elbow.
"Fortunately it is not a bad break and it looks like I will be set for Australia." It is still unknown if Quinn will be fit to join the band for their planned performance at the Brit Awards next month (14FEB06).

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LATEST: Drummer GIL SHARONE frantically memorised an entire gig set in hours after being named the replacement for former BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER on +44’s European tour.
Barker was forced to quit the tour because the arm he fractured during a video shoot on 9 September (06) failed to heal in time.
Sharone will join former Blink-182 singer and bassist MARK HOPPUS and his +44 bandmates SHANE GALLAGHER and CRAIG FARBAUGH on the tour, which begins tonight (25JAN07) in Zurich, Switzerland.
He says, "I played my first show with them Saturday (20JAN07) after learning the whole record on the plane ride over to Germany. I’m glad to help the band out and fill in for a drummer that I have a ton of respect for."

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THE STROKES guitarist ALBERT HAMMOND JR has been praised by police for helping to apprehend a group of runaway suspects in Texas.
The star, who was in the state promoting solo album YOURS TO KEEP, managed to stop a lengthy high-speed criminal car chase all thanks to his oversized tour bus earlier last week (ends21JAN07).
Posting on his MySpace page, Hammond writes, "It turned out that the cops had been chasing a suspect in a pickup truck in a high speed chase a la OJ SIMPSON since the Texas state border. It seemed that the pickup was going to get away until he came into contact with you know who (us).
"It appeared that since our trailer has such a wide load - though sadly no such bumper sticker yet - we proved an obstacle past which no mere pickup truck could speed ahead! But those crazy criminals will do anything to get a laugh, won’t they? "Those knuckleheads smashed into our trailer and spun out of control, crashing into the side ramp, and awaited their vacation in the Texas State Penitentiary. Book ‘em, boys!"

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DEAD OR ALIVE singer PETE BURNS is suing his plastic surgeon for negligence after a lip augmentation procedure left him looking "physically repulsive".
The YOU SPIN ME ROUND (LIKE A RECORD) hitmaker claims DR MAURIZIO VIEL from the London Centre for Aesthetic Surgery botched his cosmetic surgery in 2000, leaving him with side effects including painful swelling, blisters and heavy discharge.
He alleges the damage is so severe doctors have warned him his lips might need to be amputated, adding, "What happened to me after a series of injections was far worse than any nightmare I could have envisioned. Not only was it agonisingly painful but it was physically repulsive in the extreme.
"It was impossible to lead any life whatsoever. I was unable to leave my house as I was so distorted with swelling and I might begin to discharge yellow pus that was coming from the holes in my face. At times it leaves me seriously suicidal and depressed and I could have problems for the rest of my life.
"If I can prevent at least one person from undergoing this hell and point them in the right direction to a doctor who can manage their problem, then at least I can help stop someone else suffering." Burns has had 100 operations over a 17 month period in a bid to reconstruct his face.

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The pop superstar apparently came up with the idea when her partner, French actor Olivier Martinez, kept spraying himself with her best-selling women’s fragrance ‘Darling’.
‘Darling’ hit the stores last November and outsold many perfumes released by other stars, including Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.
The phenomenal sales were boosted by the increasing popularity of celebrity scents, a factor which may make Kylie’s new men’s line a success.
Tim Hughes, a spokesperson for British health and beauty retailer Superdrug, said recently: "Five years ago fragrances were all about designer names and the big beauty houses such as Chanel. The only celebrity fragrances were quite marginal and rather naff. J.Lo changed all that with the launch of her first fragrance." Kylie’s new business venture may spark further worry among her family and friends already concerned she is working too hard since beating breast cancer last year.
The ‘Spinning Around’ singer - who was forced to cancel two dates on the British leg of her ‘Showgirls Homecoming’ tour because of flu - recently admitted herself that one of her flaws is working too hard.
She said: "I do push myself too hard. But that’s me. After I was ill I had all sorts of people asking me what I was going to do, as if everything in my life was going to change. But, you know living my life like this is the only thing I know how to do."

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The former model was told by lawyers to tone down her sister Fiona’s rant about security because it could prove costly in court.
The message was removed from the website just hours after being posted.
It was later re-posted without the allegation that Paul is endangering the life of his three-year-old daughter Beatrice by refusing to pay for security for Heather.
Fiona Mills, who works as Heather’s personal assistant, slammed the former Beatle for ignoring death threats sent to Heather.
Fiona ranted on her sister’s personal website: "My sister and her daughter are receiving death threats. But they no longer receive the protection that would be afforded to any other member of the McCartney family." Heather was advised to increase her security after police warned her she was the target of criminals from Liverpool.
The 39-year-old is believes she is entitled to, and requires, a professional bodyguard, but Paul will not pay for one.
Paul, 64, and Heather are due in court next month to resolve the row over security.
Earlier this week, it was reported that the estranged couple had reached an out of court divorce settlement worth £32 million.
However, Heather’s legal firm Mishcon de Reya issued a statement denying Paul had made an offer.
A spokeswoman said: "No offer has been made whatsoever at any time."

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The British actress was starring in a New York stage production of ‘Closer’, when she was approached by the ‘Hung Up’ singer who asked Anna if she could extend her contract so she could appear alongside her.
Anna said: "We went out to dinner and my grandmother came too. She wanted me to stay on but I’d worked flat out and explained to her I couldn’t do it any longer. She understood. I’ve met up with her since and still think she is incredible." Anna has also revealed she made a decision many years ago to stop hanging out with supermodel Kate Moss and Sadie Frost because they were too wild for her.
She said: "Kate is amazingly charismatic and it was fun to go out and party with her when I was in my early 20s. But I knew the deal. So I stopped calling them. I wanted a different life."

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The single actor has been smitten with Cat since meeting her last year, when she was in Los Angeles filming hit US TV talent show ‘So You Think You Can Dance’, and now the ‘Titanic’ star wants an English rose of his own.
Leo told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: "Cat’s lovely. But then most English girls are. This country churns out some of the loveliest women in the world." The actor’s last relationship was with Israeli swimsuit model Bar Rafaeli, and before that he dated Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen.
A source revealed: "Leo’s desperate to have a family. He hates the identikit females in Los Angeles and he’s always had a soft spot for English roses like Cat. He loves London too. So he’s looking for a nice English wife to make a fresh start with over here." The 32-year-old bachelor has been in the UK promoting his new movie ‘Blood Diamond’, which has earned him a Best Actor Oscar nomination, and during his stay he made the most of the city’s vibrant nightlife.
Leo reportedly ran up a £10, 000 bar bill as he partied across some of London’s top nightspots following news of his nomination this week.
He started his evening on Tuesday night (23.01.07) at 10pm at trendy Japanese restaurant Roka, before moving on to exclusive club Boujis - a favourite hang-out of Princes William and Harry.
Back at his hotel, the actor reportedly carried on partying until his limo arrived to pick him up at 9am on Wednesday (24.01.07) to take him to Luton Airport.
Other revellers included his ‘Blood Diamond’ co-stars Jennifer Connelly and Djimon Hounsou.

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The ‘Desperate Housewives’ actress will reportedly wed her fiancé on Saturday July 7, 2007, because the basketball star wants to begin their married life together with a good omen.
A source told Us Weekly magazine: "Tony is extremely superstitious and thinks 07.07.07 is the day most lucky to get married on." Eva, 31, and French-born Tony, 24 - a point guard for the San Antonio Spurs - got engaged in November after dating for around two years.
The couple are said to be planning to exchange vows at the Château de Chantilly, an idyllic castle north of Paris.
It is also believed that Eva has asked French designer Monique Lhuillier to create her wedding dress.
The actress is expected to fly out to France with Tony’s mother Paula, and wedding planner Mindy Weiss next month, to finalise all the plans.
Another source said: "Tony wants his mother to feel that it’s her day as well as Eva’s." However, Eva’s representative has said: "She is still working out all the details. Nothing is confirmed." This is the second marriage for Eva. She was previously married to actor Tyler Christopher from 2002 until 2004. This will be Tony’s first union.

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